I’ve been diagnosed by my former therapist but I feel things are getting worse these days.

I mean, I have my vape in my hand, and one second later it’s nowhere to be found. Maybe it’s in the bedroom where I swear I haven’t been in the last 5 hours. Maybe in a bathroom cabinet. Maybe on the table but I wouldn’t tell because my fuckin brain is incapable to discern any object in the middle of clutter.

Is there a strategy to remember where I’ve put something I was holding? It’s gotten to the point that I’m getting preemptively mad when something I’m looking for is not where it’s supposed to be because I know I’ll have to turn the flat upside down just to find it, just to lose it again a few minutes later and/or do the same song and dance for the next thing I need.

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I am going to take a different tack here that might not be popular, there likely isn’t a way you can stop this tendency from meaningfully impacting your life in a stressful way.

You can, as you have mentioned, notice the emotional hardship that happens from experiencing this cycle over and over again. The grief and exhaustion that transmutes into anger in the moment you realize you can’t find something and finding it is going to be another wild goose chase can really hurt you over time, it is important to validate those emotions and give them their own space so that they don’t become intertwined with your basic mental cycle of trying to find things.

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