Im wondering if this is a common adhd thing.
For example, I have always wanted to program, but I can’t let myself start with some easy gui building block code. I need to understand how the code is interacting with the computer itself and know how they did it in the 80s. Then of course it’s too hard for me and I give up.
Or if im making music, I need to do everything from scratch the hard way, making it as hard as possible (and killing any creative effort i had in the beginning).
It’s the same with anything. I can’t progress if I dont know the absolute reason why something is being done. And if I do it the easy way, I didn’t do it right and took shortcuts so it was worthless.
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I’ve wanted to learn the guitar my entire life, but I can’t just start slow and easy with some chords, I keep going all in trying to learn classical guitar simultaneously with music theory because chords seem too simple and I hate myself… I didn’t mention the research phase where I learned all about the origin of the instrument and its importance through history.
Just start playing and keep playing. I’ve been playing 25 years and have only picked up basic music theory but still have a blast.
May I introduce you to prog?
Covet and CHON are a good place to start for instrumental math rock; I reccomennd effloresce and Homey, respectively.
From there I’d suggest Plini, Intervals, and Arch Echo to add some grit.
But if you really really want to hate yourself and break your guitar over you knee? Id like to introduce you to Tosin Abasi;
https://youtu.be/bt-RoSzsEKA
https://youtu.be/0jpOBd949O4
One thing I can help you with. If you learn bass first, you really learn the structure of songs, and it helps make guitar even easier. Don’t worry about theory honestly. My friend is super into theory and im not really, and we both make complex music. Theory is just words for what you’re already hearing.