Hi Community,
As the title suggests, I feel like I am craving insane amounts of dopamine and looking for some sort of a human connection.
A bit of context, I have never lived by myself for most of my life: My school days were spent in hostel, further during my bacholers days I was always surrounded by my friends and we used to go out almost all days of the week. The first time I ever sort of lived by myself was during my first job, during which I started observing similar kind of feeling (I wasn’t diagnosed then) and to subside this feeling I used to smoke weed, it made me calm.
Fast forward to now, I have realised weed is a bad cope up mechanism (don’t smoke weed now) but I am going insane and unable to function at my best. I kind of get hyperfixated on my dating app matches, or go insane if my friends don’t pick up my call etc.
I am trying to distract myself with things I like such as movies, or finding new novelty, trying to meditate etc. I do weekly therapy as well. But despite all the efforts, I feel like I am going insane and thus reaching out to the community for any help.
Edit: I take Ritalin LA - 30mg, used to take SSRI (Lexapro) and stopped it few days back as I feel very dud when I take those.
Edit 2: Added information about smoking weed: I dont smoke weed now.
Thanks in advance.
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I am of the firm belief that most people should not live by themselves. We are social creatures and the notion that we should be immediately independent and solitary as soon as we can afford to is completely crazy.
My advice in the short term would be to try to fill your evenings and weekends with as many visits to friends as possible and in the longer term keep a lookout for possible shared accommodation with some people you get on well with.
Living with people is viscerally painful for me, no matter who they are. Some people should live alone, but still be integrated into a wider community.
I don’t want to live in a situation where my “need for alone time” is “accommodated.” I need to have my own space. But I also need access to other people.
As a severe introvert I could not imagine having another human living in my house. After working with people for 8 hours all day, 5 days a week, I do not want to come home to have more social interaction without at least a short buffer to cool down.
I honestly am looking for an arrangement where I am part of community of people, but the minute I enter my room it is my “space”
Yeah but I also need kitchen, bathroom, and a place to read and work.
I guess I’m very high maintenance in my solitude.
Sometimes, I just cannot fathom the ADHD tax and the toll it takes just to survive