Hi all.
I’ll try and be succinct but as I’m sure you all realize that’s often easier said than done.
I don’t feel like I ever hear my fellow ADHDers discuss how negative an experience hyperfocusing can be.
First off, I never feel like I’m ‘enjoying’ myself when I hyperfocus. It feels a lot like I’m dreaming. Time moves weirdly, all my senses go askew, and it never feels like I’m in-control.
Then when the focus fades for whatever reason, I feel exhausted. I usually have a headache from the hours of intent concentration. Oftentimes I haven’t eaten, had a drink or used the toilet. As I start to come out of it I often feel quite confused and borderline hungover.
It gives me such an existential crisis. An activity is either so boring I can’t summon myself to engage with it or it’s so absolutely engrossing that it feels like the activity is partaking of me rather than the reverse.
And when I come out of it, to an extent I do feel as if I’ve been consumed. I don’t feel happy or satisfied or fulfilled. I feel tired, confused and uncomfortable.
Can anyone relate? Does anyone have any advice?
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It’s a mixed bag for sure. If I hyperfocus on a project I care about then I’m at least happy about the progress, and I do enjoy the process while it’s happening. But if I hyperfocus on some frustrating ass task that I thought would take 20 minutes but ends up taking all day then I feel less good.
Either way, at the end of a big hyperfocus session I feel like I squeezed all the brain juice out of myself.
I had a job interview at the end of one of those once and I felt so brain dead I was forgetting basic words. I literally apologized to the interviewer about it. Luckily she was understanding.