Fuck

Look up aphantasia, it’s when someone has no visuals in their head whatsoever, they tend to think more in concepts and words but never anything visual. And most people fit somewhere inbetween the two extremes (but it’s still surprisingly common for someone to have aphantasia, they just don’t realize it).

Funnily enough your daydreaming seem a little more advanced than mine, I typically struggle to imagine smells, but that might be link to just having a bad nose overall.

When your child comes out as a trans man.

“Praise the son!”

I can give you an explanation of godel numbers and how we proved that all general logical systems will have contradictions (knowledge gotten from youtube though), but tell me to subtract a two numbers and I’ll need a minute.

As for calculus, I didn’t take the class in high school, but I do watch videos about infinite series and proofs which I find fascinating now. I plan on going to college (2nd attempt) and I’m certain I’ll be much more proficient in it once I learn the fundamentals.

It sometimes feels like that, I’ve used it to organize my thoughts, I also used to use it as a “hud” like a videogame objective but I’m pretty sure that was just superfluous.

I’m into worldbuilding and I want to learn how to draw, problem is this is all counterbalanced by my procrastination and ADHD, it’s hard for me to sit down and write anything down or practice drawing. Having a TV in your head when you need to concentrate on things like school didn’t help either.

The most productive use I’ve made of it has been for programming, I still don’t have a programming job yet but I was able to learn the skills. I have a lot of technical interests and I feel like I understand a lot of abstract and theoretical ideas more easily. Funny thing is though I can barely do basic math in my head, even my ADHD diagnosis notes I can’t easily keep words or numbers in my head, even if I try to visualize them.

I’m a Maladaptive daydreamer, not only could I “see” an apple, I can imagine it in my hand and look really close at the little details of an apple in real time.

I am not joking, my daydreams play out almost exactly like I’m watching a video, sometimes I look fondly at the story I crafted as if I just finished watching an episode. There is a very thin barrier for me that prevents me from just making up memories.

I can get people wanting a “one-size fits all” solution where we peacefully resolve all problems and the violent one are obviously evil.

But the unfortunate thing is, you do have to fight for “the right beliefs”, and yes the right beliefs are technically subjective and this could be abused. But there’s just no alternative to taking a specific stance and physically fighting for it no matter what.

This is about whenever contradiction show up in a system what the general responses would be, but if you want a specific example by me.

I posit that privatized healthcare is a contradiction, base capitalism relies on supply and demand and healthcare will always have infinite demand. So profit motive =/= health motive.

According to the chart, the lefist would suggest getting rid of privatized healthcare in favor of universal healthcare funded by the government without patent gatekeeping.

The conservative would simply not acknowledge any flaw or contradiction.

The centrist would keep the system and implement bandaid half solutions, like state insurance or Obamacare.

I’m surprised Fox isn’t at the very bottom of the bottom, since they can’t even legally consider themselves “news”.

HRT helped me actually feel again, and empathy made me realize that thinking “logic is superior” is really stupid and even thinking there’s a seperation between emotion and logic in politics is really stupid. Oftentimes logic is just justification and obfuscation of an emotional opinion.

The final nail in the coffin for me was when I stumbled on this Martin Luther King quote about how the moderate is the true obstacle for civil rights, those “who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom”.

It made me realize how stupid it is to negotiate with fascists and bureaucracy. That we should get angry, we should get emotional, we should get active and maybe violent, when we see human beings stop being treated as such.

Really makes me look back on the days of us making fun of women with dyed hair shrieking over Trump winning. They were right, they were reacting appropriately and I was a fool to not see it. (Just want to emphasize that I’m not a Trump supporter, I just didn’t think things would get this bad)

Got into the Atheist youtubers, then they moved onto anti-SJW and I stuck around. Thought I was being an enlightened logical centrist, “both sides are bad” and all that. So I figured modern feminists were overreacting.

Then the MAGA movement ramped up, now abortion rights are gone. Also since then I discovered I’m trans and now LGBT rights are at stake.

Then on Linux you have a sleep deprived goblin warlock who performs forbidden rituals that deletes the desktop and you have to fix your mistakes without fixing the original error.

It’s me, I’m the sleep deprived goblin warlock.

Me to both Communism and Capitalism: