Keep things actionable.

• Things you need go where they are useful or where their presence is a reminder not to forget them.
• When relaying things, it doesn’t need a story if the story isn’t actionable.
• When planning things, plan out the actions, and leave as much of the rest to the experience as you can, lest you get overwhelmed, frozen, and wind up with no plans.

You’re old fashioned.

I mean. It’s any website that has user communities, if their users skew that way.

Polyamory isn’t some niche kink.

Me: Hyperactive, lacks object permanence, forgetful.
My partner: Inattentive, anxious, distractable.

For us it’s mostly been smart home stuff. Our doors have keypads, and they lock automatically if we forget to lock them. Smart speakers take notes and set reminders the moment I want to take a note. I used to have a “Magic Mirror“ that showed my calendar. From plants to lizards, we got lights on timers.

The other part is just planning.
We organize things by location and use, and work with each other. If she’s on a task, I have to let her think it out, or else she forgets stuff. If I’ve left something out and she doesn’t know if I’m done with it, she won’t put it away - lest I forget I was even working on something. We have a few free spaces in the house where we can ‘dump’ stuff - confined areas that visible though they don’t get lost/must be tended sometimes, so we can ADHD, without making out of control messes. We are intentional about where things live - if something gets put up and one of us can’t find it, we wind up with multiples of that item.