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I have found the best way to cope is to surround yourself with people that understand and help you out when you fall short. Easier said than done for sure and it hasn’t always been that way for me but at this point I have a bunch of ADHD friends so they all get it, and my wife saves me usually, she is the best at that hah. Other than that I have been just leaning into it lately, for example find a job that has a lot of tasks that work well with your brain, choose wisely.
I also treat my attention as a privilege that I can give people and not something someone can demand. I don’t phrase it that way to be egotistical, it’s just that my attention and focus is fleeting sometimes as it is so I need to defend it in that way to have any at all. This is also harder said than done but it’s also not too difficult, most people are understanding when you say “can I get back to you in 30 min when I’m done with I am doing” or “let’s put time on the calendar to work on that tomorrow” it turns out.
Along this same line I also treat notifications everywhere as an opt-in activity, everything gets denied and I only let the most important ones through focus modes (I have an iPhone) that I actually need to receive and this includes all phone calls on all mediums. The only people that get let through focus modes are those that understand the gravity of interruptions on my brain (well and my parents because they are great hah).
Well that was longer than I thought it would be but the short version is that you have to try to construct a situation for yourself that works with your brain and not against it, and it’s a long journey but you have to keep iterating on it like you have been.
I hope some of that helps!
Her channel is so good! Her video on “walls of awful” really change how I think about my brain when it won’t do something. I really enjoy the positivity she has in her videos even when talking about tough topics, definitely recommend.
Here is her channel: https://youtube.com/@HowtoADHD
I am definitely not an expert but I remember that feeling from taking Ritalin and I didn’t like it at all so I switched to something else, it might just be a side effect of Ritalin? I eventually landed on Vyvanse because it had the least of that feeling, aderall was better but not as good as Vyvanse. All that to say, make sure to ask your doctor as well, you might be able to try a different drug if it is a side effect or something.
ETA: also, same boat here with nicotine too, its a rough one for sure but I keep trying heh.
This is sage advice right here, very well said.
To your point, every job interview I have I tell them that I like money but 11 times out of 10 boredom or micromanaging will make me leave faster than they can blink. For what it’s worth I also write a lot of automation code, mostly Python and Terraform these days.
OP, one more thing, if you enjoy programming already but it’s not interesting enough I would definitely look into a SRE or “DevOps” style role. Working on automation definitely keeps me interested because there is always a new problem to solve or handy tool to write. It is also very fulfilling because your job is to make other people faster so it feeds my people pleaser brain well too. Also, Some of the best DevOps/SRE/platform/whatever engineers I know are also the laziest people I know as well, so being lazy can be a strength haha!
Yeah! Her channel is great overall, watching it definitely made me more aware of my brain, definitely recommend.
You actually reminded me of something else I do, I make a conscious effort to not compare myself directly to my peers because then I always feel like I am not working as hard as they are. I finally started doing this after like the 5th manager told me to stop working so hard and I realized the times that I would consider myself 50% productive I get more done than the average coworker does at 100% productive.
Now, I definitely don’t say that as a brag in any way. I am not a classic overachiever I don’t think, I think it just speaks to the way my brain is wired (and lots of ND folks!). I am definitely my own worst critic and I definitely let perfect be the enemy of good when I am building things, I have to keep reminding myself to stop it and that done is not the same thing as matching the “perfect” vision I have in my head.
Anyway, enough rambling from me!
I am not a developer by title but I do write a lot of code and the best thing I did for myself was learned to just work when my mind feels like it. I seem to get way more done when that is the case even with meds. I realize that is way easier to say than to do and it is even harder depending on your job but finding one that has this philosophy as well will make a world of difference.
That said, it hasn’t and still doesn’t doesn’t always work out that I get to work when my brain feels like it but I try to recognize the times it does and it and capitalize on those moments as much as I can and it has worked out pretty well. It was this video that really helped me learn to recognize when I had just built a wall of awful in my head and that has helped me find things that help get over those walls but there are definitely times when I just can’t work on a thing right now and I just do as much as I can, it’s still not fun.
I also cannot get actual work done in an office anymore, especially writing any code, and I don’t think I would take a job that required me to be in an office anymore so don’t feel like you are the odd one out there.
As for meds, they are definitely a game changer for me but I have always found that they give me the opportunity to focus and get to work on something but I still have to be the one that chooses what that is or my brain will randomly pick something and then I know how they make nuclear waste storage containers for some reason. My brain just loves interesting problems and refuses to do anything monotonous so I actively seek those problems out whenever I can to keep it entertained.
Hope that is useful, unfortunately there isn’t one silver bullet and you kind of have to reverse engineer your own brain so find what works for you.
These are by far my favorite, easily fits in my pocket (about the diameter of a US quarter) and it can’t come open while it is in there.
I am primarily inattentive and take Vyvanse, have for years, and I love it. I have tried Strattera and had a similar experience to you from what I remember if that helps. Fair warning though, generics just came out last week so insurance usually makes you try cheaper alternatives like Aderall as Vyvanse is like 400$ a month retail. Aderall is fine but I don’t like it as much as Vyvanse, its stimulant curve is far less smooth than Vyvanse throughout the day for me.
Anecdotally, I ran out yesterday and today has been a fog more than I remember and it was impossible to do anything. It was kind of a good reminder to get it filled, it makes a huge difference for me haha.
Anyway, hope that helps, it’s definitely a journey not designed for ND people so keep at it.
Oh yeah, for sure. If I am able I sometimes even plan them, like I will just let my brain bounce around between 4 or 5 projects I have going or video games or whatever. Those days I try hard to reframe my goal to just work on something, not anything in particular, and it seems to help me not feel like crap about it. I hate how we ourselves are our own greatest critics sometimes, it’s really just not helpful, that’s why I try to trick myself into tiny accomplishments that way.
If you haven’t tried it you should check out Sunsama. I have tried a lot of todo apps and have never found one that works for every situation and Sunsama kinda solves this through integrations. I really like that it connects to email and other calendars as well as apps like Trello and Jira and lets me track them all as cards and even automate what happens when I mark them done in Sunsama. It also supports tasks directly and I use those for a few recurring tasks that don’t fit anywhere else. ADHD wise it has been helpful with planning times for specific tasks and seeing how they fit into my combined calendars and get better at time estimating which I didn’t expect. I think it’s general “turn a week into a kanban board” concept took some getting used to but it has been really helpful for me as well. I anecdotally feel like I get more done and am less overwhelmed when I keep to the daily ceremonies that it has as well for what it’s worth.
Affiliate link mistake or not I am glad you posted that link and I want you to know that I found it valuable and at least two of my ND friends did as well (including one that just recently started a business) and are now going to attend.
I know it was against the rules but I just wanted you to know that at least someone was glad you posted it and you made a positive impact in at least one person’s life.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand why the rule exists but I think I commented on the original post too and I didn’t even take it as you trying to advertise, you even said it was an affiliate link. I thought it seemed like you were just excited, and the event is free after all (cost isn’t the point I know, I think that’s why I didn’t think it was advertising).
Yep you are correct, that’s what I was trying to when I was talking about the logs on the public instance and forwarding them to a central place of that is important information, sorry if it didn’t make sense, I must have been tired haha.
I forgot before, it is also possible use ProxyProtocol for TCP applications but the application will need to understand it for it to show in the application logs. It would also be possible to use this to allow the on-prem instance (nginx->nginx let’s say) to see the true client IP from the public instance, the exact configuration is implementation dependent though.
Yep that was exactly my thought process haha. For what it’s worth, raspian is pretty good and Ubuntu 22.04 works great on the PI4, I have 4 or 5 around here and they have been awesome.
Now I am curious though, what are you going to use for the key store? That is one of the things on my list to set up pretty soon here as well and I was going to put it on a pi myself. Also, if you haven’t seen this thing or this thing? They are pretty neat and I was going to get one just for the novelty haha.
Not to steal your post but I have had the same issue and my concern is always on OS support since some of the alternative boards I have tried in the past were stuck on custom kernels or old OS versions, has anyone had better luck these days? It has been a few years since I have tried any though.
Also, if you aren’t familiar with it this website has a bunch of real time inventory listings for the various Pi models.
The way I would solve this is by putting nginx or other reverse proxy directly on your instance in the cloud. You can use this to set one of the well known proxy headers and proxies as others have mentioned and have this then proxy to your backend instances over the VPN (even if it’s pointing to an internal nginx instance). Then the access logs on your cloud instance will also contain the actual IP address of the client, setting headers will obviously only work for HTTP traffic, there really isn’t a similar mechanism for TCP/UDP traffic as those are layer 3 and HTTP is layer 4. If you are concerned about it you can always ship the logs to somewhere on prem as well.
So, anecdotally, I used pihole first more than 5 years ago and switched to AdGuard as pihole did not have the ability to do conditional forwarding of requests for various zones or the ability to add static records via the UI. Conditional forwarding means that I can send the requests for let’s say example.com to an internal server hosting that zone responding with private records for internal services as well as other similar scenarios.
I also like that I can identify clients or networks in adguard by various factors and apply different rules (blocking and forwarding) and collect statistics on those clients or groups of clients, I don’t think pihole has either feature yet.
I also like that adguard is a static binary which is likely what people mean when they say it’s easier to install and maintain.
As to why I keep it and don’t switch back, I like the interface AdGuard has and it doesn’t break so I often forget about it anymore. I’ll update if I remember anything else but those are the larger things for me. If pihole is working then stick with it but curiosity is a definite reason to try adguard, I bet you could just stop pihole on your machine and run adguard to check it out without too much work (yay static binary) but I haven’t tested that myself.
Hope that helps!
It depends on what you mean by struggling but you can get pretty far with an 8th or 9th gen i5 and 16gb of RAM, would be a pretty cheap upgrade these days. The huge jump in quality for QuisckSync was between the 7th and 8th gen from what I remember so it doesn’t have to be new. If you are worried about power I think that it’s 65 or 70w for the 8th gen ones.
For what it’s worth, my current Plex machine is an 8500k with 32 gb of memory and a 250w power supply since it doesn’t have local storage and it has been running 24x7 for about 4 or so years now. I once load tested it for fun and I was able to do 7 or 8 4k transcodes and it wasn’t really its limit, I have no complaints haha.
I definitely thought I replied to this, ADHD sigh. That sucks about the therapist, hopefully your current one works out. If they are just against stimulants there are a few non-stimulant options to try now if you weren’t aware, maybe they would do that? Good luck :/
Yeah man, one of the T tests, I remember there being more than one type. My doctor suggested it when I felt like I was tired all the time and I was right below the lower end of the threshold and it has made all the difference.
I never would have thought to get it tested I figured I just wasn’t sleeping well but turns out that is part of why I wasn’t sleeping well. I remember it being cheap too I figured why not and I’m glad I did.
I also use an APAP, that is funny. I also get about 7 hours of sleep but tracking it with a smartwatch has been really interesting because I can definitely tell when I don’t get enough deep sleep from what it seems, very not scientific though haha.
Alright, one last thing, I know this isn’t the sleep community but I discovered there is a field of sleep dentistry on accident and that has been a really interesting journey. Turns out my jaw was too narrow and my tongue can’t suction to the roof of my mouth and that is partially what causes some of my apnea symptoms, it blew my mind. Anyway, just wanted to add that in case it helps you or someone else, good sleep is so important.
It sounds like you and I are pretty similar people and pretty close in age, have you had a sleep study done and had hormone levels checked and all of that recently?
I take meds for my ADHD (Vyvanse FTW), GAD, and Depression and they all work drastically better when I have quality sleep (not just number of hours, like % deep sleep) especially, like to the point that it feels like my ADHD meds aren’t working even when I take them if I don’t get good sleep.
Hormone levels being off really really makes my brain fog awful even with meds (and I have tried many different ones before discovering that) to the point that I started to question if they even did anything anymore since I have taken them for a while.
Just some thoughts, if your doctor isn’t doing what you need and you can find a different one then you definitely should, it took me 3 or so before finding ones that I actually like for what it’s worth.
I can’t think of any situation other than maybe wanting to get better indexing or changing the storage engine that I would need to re-create and re-insert that way so I’m not sure if you have a constraint that necessitates that or not but now I’m curious and I am always curious to find new or better methods so why do you do it that way?
At home to upgrade Postgres I would just make a temporary copy the data directory as a backup and then just change the version of the container and if it’s needed run pg_upgrade as jobs in kubernetes.
In a work environment there is more likely to be clustering involved so the upgrade path depends on that but it’s similar but there really isn’t a need to re-create the data, the new version starts with the same PVCs using whatever rollout strategy applies. Major version upgrades can sometimes require extra steps but the engine is almost always backwards compatible at least several versions.
Are we talking database schema migrations or migrating a database between Postgres instances?
If it’s the former, the pattern is usually to run them in init containers or Jobs but I have been wanting to try out SchemaHero for a while which is a tool to orchestrate it and looks pretty neat.
ETA: Thought I was replying to your below comment but Memmy deleted it the first time for some reason, my bad.
Are you using VLANs on your switch? Are you using the LAN or WAN port on the google device? As others have said, those two subnets do not overlap using /24 (255.255.255.0) so you would either need to use something like 192.168.0.0/17 that would cover both 192.168.1.0/24 and 192.168.86.0/24 but that is way overkill for most networks (192.168.0.0 - 192.168.127.255, 32766 hosts).
If you are having trouble understanding subnetting (or are like me and have a brain that refuses to learn any tricks to do it in your head) I highly recommend this really simple subnet calculator as it is very easy to see how you can divide subnets down from the RFC 1918 supernet (192.168.0.0/16) by clicking on “Divide” on the right side. In fact, that’s pretty much the only subnet tool I use anymore, super quick and easy.
It might be easier to just disable DHCP on the google side (or configure it as a DHCP relay if you can) and just use one subnet from OPNSense.
If you are not able to disable DHCP on the google side then I would set up a VLAN for the google wifi device and then create a VLAN interface in the 192.168.86.0/24 subnet that DHCP won’t use (like 192.168.86.2) and configure DHCP to use that for the gateway. This will then allow you to route between your two networks internally and to the internet (firewall permitting, obviously). If your switch does not allow VLANs then you could use another physical interface on the firewall and connect that to the LAN port on the google wifi device and do the same thing for the same result.
I hope all of that makes sense, please do ask for clarification if not, I do this kind of stuff every day and love teaching it so fire away.
Yeah the long test does a surface inspection and checks all of the sectors so it will take a while, you can run it in the background though and it might default to that.
Do backup important data though as if it is in fact failing the extra I/O might tip it over the edge, can’t be too careful.
If it was me, I would probably run fsck and reboot the first time in case it was a fluke and then investigate the drive if it happens repeatedly.
If you are worried about it’s age, the SMART will also tell you the power on hours of the drive, that’s the age that matters (well, and TB written sometimes). Each manufacturer has different mean time between failure ratings depending on the type of drive as well, you can also check backblaze data sometimes.
Hope that helps!
I have a couple friends like this over the past few years that I just built their server and taught them how to install updates on the terminal (or write a maintenance script for them to run) and how to open a port if I need to fix something remotely and it has been great.
Also, Depending on the user once it’s set up I usually recommend either Portainer or Cockpit are more than enough with watchtower to keep things up to date. If that is too much I usually just suggest a Synology/qnap or TrueNAS/unRAID for roll your own.
ETA: Cockpit also has a web based terminal and can execute package manager updates as well.
This is great, also if you haven’t read it, you should read Makers Schedule, Managers Schedule by Paul Graham, it really helped me describe this concept to all of the managers I have had hah.