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I get called transphobe when I mention how I can’t understand the desire to remove a body part or how it really feels to feel one way when you are physically born another. I don’t care if you do, or have that desire/feeling! I just can’t put myself into a space where I fully understand it. And that should be ok. I don’t have to understand it or walk in those specific shoes to be okay with someone else who does. I don’t have to understand exactly how someone feels in their specific situation to empathize or sympathize with their plights; I can draw on my understanding of other, but similar or closely related issues and apply that knowledge. The way one might apply knowledge of one game in another they’ve never played before.

How is that coming up in conversation though? Do you see someone talking about SRS and immediately insert yourself and give your own opinion on something irrelevant to you, completely unsolicited? Because I don’t think many trans people are asking random cis people about their thoughts on SRS, I can’t think of any other circumstance that would necessitate you giving your opinion on something completely irrelevant to you if you, as you say “don’t care if you do, or have that desire/feeling.” You can certainly feel this way, but coming into a trans space so you can explain to them that you don’t “understand it,” for no reason seems pretty transphobic.

An analogy would be, if someone went up to you after you mentioned something very important to your identity, beliefs or who you are and started explaining to you how they just don’t get it or can’t understand why you believe or resonate with this thing for no reason. It’s disrespectful.

YeetPics
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122Y

This is a forum for discussing stuff online.

I don’t think any persons opinion is “unsolicited” here… if hearing other opinions isn’t something you are game to do, you could go outside or something other than browse a website for sharing opinions/etc.

Then the original commenter should stop bitching when people call them a transphobe. If they can’t handle other people’s opinions of them they should just go outside.

YeetPics
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Agreed 👍

I appreciated hearing about their experience as much as I enjoyed hearing about yours.

I guess it depends on what we come here to gain. I’m here to better understand people. Why are you here?

There is a line, and there is moderation for personal attack, i thought the goal of lemmy or any moderated site is to dicuss topic with at least a bit of respect for each other, if not than it may as well be twitter.

That’s a thoroughly convincing perspective. I suppose we will never truly know the story for sure behind what OP said, but I would like to give the benefit of the doubt that perhaps these conversations were had respectfully at an appropriate time and place. But also, knowing the bad-faith approach many take when talking about trans rights, it is hard not to lean on the possibility that there is mal-intent.

How is that coming up in conversation though?

Usually through questions trying to gain understanding from people who do feel that way, in public discussions on that topic.

IDK why you assume I’m talking about inserting myself into a private conversation, or one that has nothing to do with the topic; and this is the same type of jumping the gun bullshit I was talking about in the first place.

Very strange. I would only say that I don’t get it if I was asked if I ever felt that way. Otherwise, I would simply not make my own irrelevant feelings about my own body known to strangers

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