Usually when someone is venting at me, I feel like I should respond somehow and say something, but I have no idea what that something could/should be. Is it better to just listen or try to comfort them in some way?
It could be that you’re looking for a solution to the venter’s problem. A lot of times, when somebody is venting, they’re not actually looking for a solution. More often than not, they already know the solution to their problems, but the emotions of the situation are overwhelming them.
Obviously, things vary from person to person, so your mileage may vary on this, but I find that if somebody’s venting to you about something, it’s best to just absorb what they’re saying, and let them get out whatever it is they need to get out. It’s usually best not to inject your own interpretations into the conversation. For instance, if you’re looking for a way to interject, instead of something like “He probably said that because such and such”, reposition it to something like “Why would he say such and such?” Letting the venting person come up with their own thoughts and explanations for the situation may be the most beneficial thing for them in that moment. They might not actually know why the other person said something to them, but this can prompt a moment of insight, which can help the person understand why they’re feeling the way they’re feeling.
Venting is more about processing thoughts and feelings, as opposed to brainstorming actual solutions. If you’re listening to somebody vent, first off: Thanks, you’re a good friend for being there for people in need. And second, just keep the focus on the emotional responses to the situation, as opposed to the details of what may be happening, and you should be good.
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I don’t understand venting.
I know I’m supposed to only listen to it, but I just get frustrated for some reason. Maybe I’m doing it wrong.
It could be that you’re looking for a solution to the venter’s problem. A lot of times, when somebody is venting, they’re not actually looking for a solution. More often than not, they already know the solution to their problems, but the emotions of the situation are overwhelming them.
Obviously, things vary from person to person, so your mileage may vary on this, but I find that if somebody’s venting to you about something, it’s best to just absorb what they’re saying, and let them get out whatever it is they need to get out. It’s usually best not to inject your own interpretations into the conversation. For instance, if you’re looking for a way to interject, instead of something like “He probably said that because such and such”, reposition it to something like “Why would he say such and such?” Letting the venting person come up with their own thoughts and explanations for the situation may be the most beneficial thing for them in that moment. They might not actually know why the other person said something to them, but this can prompt a moment of insight, which can help the person understand why they’re feeling the way they’re feeling.
Venting is more about processing thoughts and feelings, as opposed to brainstorming actual solutions. If you’re listening to somebody vent, first off: Thanks, you’re a good friend for being there for people in need. And second, just keep the focus on the emotional responses to the situation, as opposed to the details of what may be happening, and you should be good.