Often when I start feeling guilty for putting off a task (even if I genuinely didn’t have time), the guilt makes it harder for me to get back to it. It’s an additional emotion that I have to barge through in order to get started.
What if the person is annoyed with me for still not having replied? What if they’ve followed up with a strongly worded email that I’m now going to have to suffer through? And I’m going to have to come up with an excuse for taking so long. This would have been so much easier if I’d done it yesterday.
The guilt increases exponentially. How do you dispel it so that it’s not in the way of actually getting to the task?
(Alcohol and sleep deprivation does not count)
A casual community for people with ADHD
Values:
Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.
Rules:
- No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
- No porn, gore, spam, or advertisements allowed.
- Do not request for donations.
- Do not link to other social media or paywalled content.
- Do not gatekeep or diagnose.
- Mark NSFW content accordingly.
- No racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, or ageism.
- Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
- Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
- Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).
Encouraged:
- Funny memes.
- Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
- Questions on confusing situations.
- Seeking and sharing support.
- Engagement in our values.
Relevant Lemmy communities:
lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.
- 1 user online
- 49 users / day
- 168 users / week
- 211 users / month
- 394 users / 6 months
- 1 subscriber
- 551 Posts
- 8.36K Comments
- Modlog
Tons of great advice I here.
I want to add that in addition to processing your feelings around that guilt in healthy ways, it is also a good idea to check in and see if you’re doing the things that will help make managing your ADHD easier.
Things like:
Those take work, especially when the ADHD fights back against forming habits, but they can help create a positive feedback loop.
I also recommend taking 10 minutes a day to just sit, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. If you notice your mind wandering, congratulate yourself for noticing, let the thought be, and return to your breathing.
Every time you “notice and return”, that’s one pushup towards building the muscle that recognizes when (especially unhealthy) patterns of though start to form. That will help you make good choices about when and how to engage with those thought patterns before they sneak up on you and start driving the bus.
That sounds like it’ll be life changing when I get around to trying it out in a year and a half.
In writing it out, I was very conscious of how long its been since I was doing it regularly, and how I’m absolutely going to start it again “soon”.
Start with doing it for just 30 seconds. An assisted pushup against the wall until you ate strong enough to do it for real.