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A casual community for people with ADHD
Values:
Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.
Rules:
- No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
- No porn, gore, spam, or advertisements allowed.
- Do not request for donations.
- Do not link to other social media or paywalled content.
- Do not gatekeep or diagnose.
- Mark NSFW content accordingly.
- No racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, or ageism.
- Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
- Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
- Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).
Encouraged:
- Funny memes.
- Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
- Questions on confusing situations.
- Seeking and sharing support.
- Engagement in our values.
Relevant Lemmy communities:
lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.
- 1 user online
- 49 users / day
- 168 users / week
- 211 users / month
- 394 users / 6 months
- 1 subscriber
- 551 Posts
- 8.36K Comments
- Modlog
Break up now. She’ll blame you for everything that goes wrong between now and a few months. Also, you dont want to be the guy driving her to every drug store in. 50 mile radius looking for Vyvanse and Adderall on finals week.
Seems a bit harsh
In hindsight what helped me back in school was having someone to study with, maybe that could work for you?
Ask her about the topic. Learn a little yourself and show a genuine interest then ask for her help understanding it. This creates salience in the learning for her and also shifts her from arbitrary retention to learning to explain to you, so the mental structures are much more dynamic.
I would also recommend finding interesting things that are on the other side of understanding that material. For example, what is in the next unit? What cool things will learning this stuff unlock? It is not always the best strategy especially at the start of the unit, but as you get towards the end of the unit it can help bring the focus back to getting through the exams.
Look up classic ADHD coping mechanisms. Others have mentioned some in this thread like studying with someone (body doubling) or enforcing a schedule. One big reason procrastination works is that the stress/adrenaline acts like a stimulant that is one of the normal medications for ADHD that helps you focus.
One other suggestion is to study when well rested (first or second thing in the morning). ADHD symptoms can be exacerbated by being tired.
Wouldn’t it be cool if we could somehow keep a moving target to initiate the “almost too late” panic that will finally cause some shit to get done.
Everything is always due in the morning or something
Yes, and honestly that’s how I coped for a long time. It leads to stress and burnout and major crashing. Not a good long term solution.
Studying first thing it the morning is what works for me.
I get up early, study/work for a few hours, and then go about my day. If I do something else first any chance at studying evaporates (unless of course there’s the looming deadline).
Do not try to become her manager or parent or psychologist or coach. It will negatively impact your relationship.
https://www.getinflow.io/post/adhd-authority-issues-defiance for some ideas on why.
If you have a problem with how she is behaving, you will not be able to change it through external influence. If she really has ADHD (emphasis on disorder where it is negatively and significantly impacting her life AND is diagnosed) and is unmedicated, the single best thing she can do is get medicated, and that’s her choice. If medication isn’t working, she should talk with her provider about it.
If she requests help, feel free to provide it. Feel free to ask her (and not internet strangers) if there’s something you can do to help her as she’ll know what works and what doesn’t as ADHD isn’t a monolithic diagnosis and what works for one person might drive another up the wall.
Sorry if this seems a bit negative, but I was in school when all the Where There’s a Will There’s an A and all the techniques in the world did not make a difference to people that can’t utilize them, but they can frustrate and shame people.