I run on auto pilot most of the time. I can’t forget something I didn’t remember to do to begin with. Double, triple, and quadruple check. The double check to be sure and the tripe and quadruple check because I forgot I’ve already double-checked.

I don’t. I vaguely function for months on end, eventually get overwhelmed and panicky, then consume excessive amounts of caffeine and giggle to myself till the caffeine crash hits and I’m too tired to think.

Before I was diagnosed?

Poorly, very poorly lol

It literally felt like I was try to fill a bucket with sand and the only shovel I had was a sieve.

I’d literally have to wake up 5-6 hours before I had to be anywhere just to make sure I could finish my breakfast and coffee before leaving. And then I’d still more often than not finish eating or drinking my coffee in the car on the way.

I feel you on the “Having to stop a med because of the side effects,” before I was diagnosed with ADHD I was diagnosed with anxiety and I tried about a dozen different meds for it ovwr the years before calling that off and just going unmedicated. Funnily enough after my ADHD diagnosis and getting on the meds I am now (Straterra) I’ve only had 1 panic attack in the last year vs one a week or so. And I’m able to start and finish tasks. It’s fucking witchcraft.

I used to use caffeine but i stopped a few years ago. During the pandemic i went on adderall because i was struggling to help my kids do online school. I stopped adderall because i moved and adhd’d away my therapist.

Mostly i cope with routine. I eat the same foods for breakfast and lunch most days. I work on unmasking and being radically honest about my struggles with adhd to people around me. I setup auto billpay as much as possible and i cycle through the same few hobbies so i dont waste too much money.

I’ve recently found that sleep is very important to my body’s needs. If my sleep cycle is fucked then my symptoms get wild.

As someone who can’t medicate my ADHD, even with caffeine because they all either don’t help or interfere with my panic disorder which is much, much more debilitating, it is… Not great, but I’ve mostly found a lifestyle that works for me. I’ve found careers that I can handle. Maintaining a household alone is… Very rough under the circumstances but it is what it is.

All that said, HIGHLY recommend staying active enough that you are tired at the end of the day and having an alarm clock with a bright light on it, or a dawn simulation ideally with smart lighting, a special alarm clock, or a diy solution with a full spectrum lamp and an aquarium timer (guess which one I did during college). Maintaining a good schedule and waking up in the AM feeling at least reasonably well rested is paramount, everything else goes to hell if that isn’t maintained, and if I’m not physically active during the day, no amount of melatonin will get me to sleep within a routine.

Have you been able to try Adderall? The only thing ever found helpful besides caffeine is coffee fruit extract. It’s the active ingredient in Neuriva for instance, but there are alternatives online as well. It’s not a great improvement, but it s something I think.

Chaining dozens of coping methods together helps a little bit, including:

• strictly working with lists. When I do it and it’s not on the list & checked off, it doesn’t count as done. What’s not on the list doesn’t get done
• implementation intention: Since my brain refuses “must do now” situations, use a trigger like: “If it’s not done by 8 p.m., work on it with a stopwatch for 15 minutes”
• for the list, turn everything into a module. Instead of “do the kitchen”, have subitems like “collect all garbage”, “sort by food / non-food”, “clean surface 1/2/3/floor”. For studying & work, a module is always 25 or 50 minutes of full focus, no distractions. When I have to get up to get water or pee, it counts as failed and is not checked off

Yay, life on hard mode.

I was on vyvanse for years. And I slept about probably 4 hours a night on average. I had to go to adderall. It doesn’t work as well, but it does work, and usually I can sleep.

I should never be off meds.

THC, caffeine, and more caffeine

I suppose I cope by having almost 40 years of coping mechanisms that I use to keep me mostly okay. I let my mind fugue in the morning when I wake up. I have a routine that I try to stick to. I have a job that allows me to hyper focus on problems and get the dopamine hit from solving those problems. I don’t have to interact with others for the most part to do my job. I spend a lot of time at home, use ear plugs, or headphones etc. if I can’t make my mind focus I try to do something else. I take breaks. I set alarms for just about everything. And reminders. So many reminders. I also have a very supportive partner. I’m sure there’s other stuff I had to learn to do to mask that I’m forgetting. But for the most part things just work because I put a lot of work into making them work and even then I am not always successful.

Only way to get through dread is to go through with it. If you want something to stop, finish it. I have pretty light adhd, but for me it was like steeling my mind before base jumping. Sometimes you don’t want to do something. You’re scared or tired but you must FORCE yourself to do it. I have a mantra that kind of helps me. I tell my self that I must do what must be done. And kind of make the action feel like it is inevitable like I will do it even if I don’t want too.

Poorly. I’m unmedicated and trying to get on meds.

Marijuana

May I ask what side effects? I’m on vyvanse 40/d and love it.

I recently had to stop taking my vyvanse due to some bad side effects and holy shit I forgot how bad this was

FYI you are probably also dealing with withdrawal in addition to being unmedicated. Getting off of meds after having been on them is a very different experience from never having been medicated.