One day I was feeling particularly down, heard an ad on a podcast and I looked into Betterhelp. I don’t know if they do anything outside of the US or not, so I don’t know if this will help you at all, but since it’s on topic, I figured I’d share for curious Americans.

Betterhelp is EXPENSIVE. They said it would cost me something like $80/week, and they wouldn’t take insurance. They offered me a discounted rate of $60/week, but the main cause of my depression that day was financial, so it was an especially painful kick in the face.

I also understand how it feels to have a doctor tell you that your disorder isn’t real. I asked my doctor about it and all he did was lecture me on how ADHD meds are “performance enhancers” and that ANYONE who took them would function better. “Besides, you have a job, you must be doing alright”. (Of course, it was my third job in the past 5 years.)

I don’t know about you, but those kinds of things (telling me I dont know what I’m talking about while not listening to what I’m saying) hit me especially hard. I just wanted a referral to a psychiatrist, but he wouldn’t even bother doing that.

Oh that’s totally me.

Best way I can describe it is that my mind is the Google homepage. Give it input, and it will spit out everything it knows about that, but by default, it’s just a blank page waiting for a question.

I need triggers to jog my memory. Sticky notes are a lifesaver.

My college highlight was starting a 6 page paper on a book I never read, five hours before it was due. Got a B.

I went from top of the class to “smart, but lacking effort” before I got to high school.

Haven’t really moved on from that phase since.

What’s funny is that I was thinking about that quote immediately after I typed my comment.

Careful there. Going through life with that mindset will prevent you from learning and growing.

Don’t discount any idea until you’ve picked it apart.

Yeah, people are dumb, but if you assume you’re always right, you will be too.

I like the concept of a distinct marker. Because when I’m trying to think of where something is, I try to picture the last place I saw it and the things that were around it. Putting a unique flag at each of the typical “dumping grounds” might help me realize where it is quicker.

Are they REALLY in the right place, or does it just seem like the right place at the time?

In hindsight, a lot of the “perfect places” I’ve put things just happened to be convenient at the time. I somehow convince myself that it’s totally reasonable to put my dinner plate under the couch.

Keep an eye out for toxic people.

It took me WAY too long to learn this, as I kept bending over backwards for people who would kick me when I’m down before they’d help me back up.

It’s ok to just stay away from those people as much as possible. You don’t owe them ANYTHING.

This sounds exactly like me. I’m about twice your age, and only realized I was ADHD inattentive a few years ago when I was trying to learn what to expect with my new ADHD diagnosed stepson.

Not letting down others is my biggest motivator. I’ll let my life fall apart from neglect, but heaven forbid someone else become slightly inconvenienced! Sounds insane when you spell it out, but knowing is half the battle I guess.

This one gets me all the time:

Better wash my hands before I start cooking.

I should also pee before I get started cooking

Guess I’m washing my hands again.

I don’t mind watching movies, but it’s really hard for me to DECIDE to watch a movie.

If someone asks if I want to watch a movie, the time commitment makes me say no (unless it’s something I’ve REALLY wanted to see), but I’ll happily agree to watch a TV show and still end up watching 3 hours or more worth of episodes.

You didn’t even have to say the last sentence. That story was all I needed to hear to convince me!

My wife already had to stop taking one of her meds because it’s over $900/month with insurance. The doctor visits required to just get me a script would put us in the red.

Fuck the system.

I had seriously been considering trying again after a doctor told me “lots of people thought that they developed mental health problems during COVID” and that “those drugs are just performance enhancers that let you cheat at life.”

But between that and finding out my insurance has a deductable higher than my annual medical expenses, I think I’m forgetting about that for another few years.

For me it’s: under-stimulated -> nap time.

Appreciated! And likewise to you!

Appreciate the info. I don’t think Betterhelp let me use insurance at all, or the $80 was in addition to what insurance covered.

You guys know how it is, I forget the details, but I remember being frustrated and broke.

A few months ago, I wasn’t feeling great, so I looked into Betterhelp, because I heard a podcast ad for it at the exact time I needed it. I went through the whole sign up process, only to find that they wanted to charge $80 a week or some bullshit. Since lack of funds was a big part of my depression, that just made me feel more hopeless.

So, can you save us all some potential disappointment and give us an idea of what this one costs before we waste time signing up for it?

Sorry. Only made it to the sixth move.

I came back to add this. I should have looked before I played it. 🤦🏻‍♂️

Sounds like fun. I’m in!

I was invited to attend the introverted procrastinators meeting… Maybe someday.

I can’t even tell you how many times I tried to put together a big event and had two or three people there.

For my 21st birthday, I didn’t even do the planning, my best friend had invited all our favorite people that we worked with and went to school with. He made plans for someone to drive us around and a list of the local bars that he wanted me to visit. In the end, it was me, that friend, and my girlfriend. We sat in a dive bar for about two hours until my girlfriend took us home because she wasn’t feeling great and didn’t drink.

That’s probably not even the worst one. I’ve had so many nights just sitting and waiting for everyone to arrive only to entertain the same two people that I hang out with every day.

I don’t have any great tips for you, because I don’t try to do things like that anymore, but I understand how you feel, and it just really sucks. Sorry it fell apart like that. Take a day to focus on you and I hope you feel better.

Funny thing, I have an appointment on Monday and they’ve already sent me a text and email reminder, and a text and email to pre check in. It’s kind of annoying, but that’s what it takes sometimes!

Don’t take the appointment card from the doctor’s office. Just put it in your phone calendar.

You might think if you take the card, you can refer to it later, or put it in the calendar later, but these are lies. LIES!!!

I’ve subscribed, but if the first three were any indication of the future, I’m not going to be very helpful.

It took me a few years, but today it clicked. I go to work, I make a pot of coffee, I drink it all by noon, I go to lunch, I come back and work till I go home.

But, i didn’t work until I went home, I played games and watched videos. I got the whole days work done in the morning, and I think it’s probably the coffee. Is that what medication is like?

Sorry, I don’t like spam.

No it isn’t!

Dude! First fucking rule!!!

Actually, now that we’re analyzing it, Hearthstone has been my go to boredom game for the past ten years, and a good part of that is probably because of the defined start and finish.

I play it every day on my lunch break, because I know I can get 1-3 matches in before it’s time to go back to work. I could pay Stardew Valley on my phone, which I also love, but I probably wouldn’t feel “satisfied” when I inevitably realize that lunch has been over for five minutes and I’m in the middle of a game task.

However, when I pay Hearthstone on a day where I have nowhere to be, just one more match… Just one more…

In WoW, I was a solo player that wanted to do everything. So, I’d go to a town, grab all the quests, and start crossing them off until it was time to go to the next one. And in between, I just spend hours wandering around looking for flowers to pick or ore to mine.

I couldn’t ever imagine getting hyper-focused on them but I know that a lot of people are, which intrigues me.

“Just one more…”

For me, it’s Fallout, Elder Scrolls, World of Warcraft, Final Fantasy, Hearthstone and Stardew Valley.

But pretty much anything like those will do it if I’m enjoying myself.

Perfect! I don’t know where ANY of that shit is! You’re hired!

The “thing” is calling someone.

Blue Guy has a phone, and I assume he knows how to make a call, but cannot bring himself to do it, he instead does his preferred method of contact.

If not completely responsible, EF is at least a factor.

If you can handle the things that aren’t, we should team up.

Oh good. I’m not the only one that has to dial twice!

Executive Function!