Glad you’re getting your meds!
Agree about ADHD people needing to find their own stimulation, one way or another. In my case I learned to use stress. It’s my superpower. I can summon a stress response on command, until I just couldn’t turn it off.
So a big reason to take my meds is to try to replace that stress response since it’s making me crash mentally and physically. Even with meds, I spent most of my life not diagnosed, so it’s hard to stop.
I’ve been using stremio + torrentio for a while and it’s been the best for me so far. Have tested kodi, jellyfin and others. I don’t pay for a private tracker, but it’s been good enough so far.
I do want to keep a local library instead of streaming, but I’d focus on getting the things I like the most, while this set up helps with discovering. My ADHD in particular may make me suddenly want to watch something that I haven’t prepared.
I relate very much.
The meds actually make this worse, but without the meds I’m a mass of stress, since stress is what I used instead of an executive function.
I have typically performed highly in what do as a main activity, like school or work. But soon I start resenting the person that hyperfocuses, because that person leaves me with nothing. So far I’ve burned out of most of my activities and changed careers twice. Lately I decided to get into gardening ‘to relax’ and it ended up the same.
It feels almost like the show Severance, even though I mostly remember what I did, but like you said, it’s as if it had been a dream.
No, definitely. I wasn’t clear enough but using stress as stimulant most of my life has left me with long term physical and mental sequelae.