Yeah this entire thread made me realize, I am literally getting it out of my system and not having that outlet. The stuff leaks into friendships and being unable to “shoot the shit”.

Yeah all of that is right. I think I also hate giving context, but also expect friends to see things from my perspective and understand where I am coming from. All in all it simply has always been a communication issue with incorrect expectations on my part. But, this definitely helps! This comment and most of the thread made me realize, since I don’t have friends that align with my passions, I don’t get that irl release, in turn forcing it into all conversations. So that second point about the individual subject really fits.

Yeah, I think I easily get too hung up in controlling my environment to match that “bingo card”. Thinking its a recipe for growth. Or having a “negative” version of the bingo card and if even one of those clicks with something a friend said, I start to distance or start to “correct/change” it to be removed from the bingo card at least (well more so in a way to share my view of that point and hoping for a different outlook). I will take a look at the speech communities suggestion.

Yeah, I see that third point clearly. I have never been good in dividing my personality between work and social. One would always be the same in the other.

Yeah, it truly feels a new chapter has started in my life. And I really like it, because it’s for the first time I am feeling that I am shaping my personality on my own, while taking in advice from others/literature and not just wearing masks constantly (But, hard to tell if I am going about it correctly). I will check that book out!

I never aligned it to being a common thing in western cultures. That’s pretty insightful. Oddly though, recently I have been romanticizing the notion of living for a year in my parent’s home country, hearing anecdotally, watching videos of content creators from there, how the culture/people in that part of the word is more familial.

Yeah, the biggest challenge lately was understanding if the friendships were for an other’s “convenience.” It’s also hard to communicate with friends, if not tech focused, how much mental energy it takes do some tasks or implement something. So it’s hard to communicate clearly that I can’t do certain things or go to certain events, because my focus will be affected and in turn my quality of work. It always comes out as being a scapegoat and/or probably “bad at their job”.

As the internet becomes more available, mass adoption leads to communities that are very unbalanced. And, more often than not, leaning towards personas we tend to avoid in real life. Reason being, the barrier to entry is not as high. Curiosity is a byproduct of education/environment and lead people to apply resourcefulness to uncover sites/forums/messageboards with like minded people. Yes, echochambers in a way, but these echo chambers were not driven by political beliefs, but rather simple mannerisms and etiquette. Toxicity on sites like Youtube, Reddit, Threads, Twitter, have increased, because Curiosity didn’t drive discovery/account creation, ads or fomo did instead. Mastodon/Lemmy (Fediverse) communities, in my opinion, are still driven by curiosity. For how long, is the question I’d like to impose.