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Telekinesis with no mass limit.
But it also has no speed limit, causing items you pull around to reach light speed almost instantly, effectively growing to infinite size for the duration of the pull
Honestly, in controlled conditions, I think I can benefit humanity with this.
I can make my dad come back from getting the milk
He brings his new family
Now he forgot his cigarettes.
Does obtaining the financial security of the average adult American in the 1980s count as a superpower? Home ownership on near-minimum wage does seem pretty fantastical.
But you become extremely jaded and disappointed in anyone younger than yourself, overcome with än irredeemable urge to tell people to pull themselves up by their bootstraps
Oh no
I can materialize any technology I want, whether it is possible or not.
Everything materialized will run on coal
But everytime you do it you get sued for patent infringement
I can talk to animals
They don’t understand you
Well the above was not apparently a superpower anyway…
They don’t like you.
You have prostate cancer
All my bodily functions smells nice, sort of perfume-like.
Your perfume-like scent acts as a pheromone to all insects in your proximity, leading to an endless swarm everywhere you go
So basically anytime I sweat already, but I’ll at least smell better. I honestly see no downsides.
All smells you used to enjoy smell like bodily functions.
I instantly know the answer to ANY question
… but you are a callcenter agent working in first level IT support.
Did you try turning it off and back on again?
you now have access to cursed, ancient knowledge and it drives you crazy
blank reply?
Gif. Maybe your instance isn’t showing it.
possibly not, i’ve been having issues on and off this morning
It’s a gif! I swear it’s not blank haha
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull when the lady asks for all knowledge
yeah i’ve been speaking with the owner of this instance and they’re doing some tweaks so things are a little funky
But you have to lie everytime you communicate
Written/spoken in random language every time
About league of legends
Summon lobsters at will.
The size of pea
Rise my tiny loblets!
The lobster are horse sized and crave human flesh.
But they can summon you as well
When’s the downside coming?
From the bottom of the sea :)
Me: “What the hell am I doing at Publix?”
Lobsters: “Liberate us!”
I can slap people over TCP/IP
Doing so causes your internet service to cut out for several hours.
Is it just the service I was using at the time to perform the slap, or all internet access is closed to me? Also, is it computer based only, or could I potentially buy 20 burner phones to slap the shit out of someone? What about VPNs?
Still worth it
I’d still use it occasionally.
I’d still use it all the time. Losing internet for a while sucks, but letting someone you’ll never meet express their wrong opinions to equally unimportant strangers on a fake place for fake internet points without consequences???
Slap people wirelessly, and get a break from the internet to cool off? sign me up.
So you can go outside and calm down from therandom internet argument, good call
…and your provider slaps you with a hefty bill.
Being the first known human to fully interface with a machine also leads to the discovery of cross-platform illnesses.
You are the first human to experience the effects of a backdoor trojan firsthand.
Trojan can’t communicate with host, still a win
I can feel the same emotions as others and am able to communicate without any misunderstandings.
It only works on depressed people.
I’m sooooo ok with this. Being able to understand where their depression was and able to communicate perfectly how to shift their perspective would give me a purpose that would kill my depression and realign my perspective.
Become the best psychiatrist for depressed people ever
whenever a bird chirps you hear the actual meaning of its song, as if it were shouted at you in your native tongue.
So does that mean they also get horny af in spring?
Honestly I don’t think I need to corrupt this somehow. Enjoy.
I kind of like that one. Might be a bit overwhelming but at the beginning it sounds like fun 😃
You are always understood wrong
You also have Tourette’s
“I can tell that you are dealing with a lot of PISSNUGGETS emotion trauma right now.”
i get the superpower of getting to move through solid objects
But you’re still affected by gravity so you immediately start freefall into the centre of the earth
I can find any lost object.
None of those objects are yours.
Well, apparently I already have this super power.
Any object you locate begins looking for you
You have to sort through every object anyone has ever lost to do so
i’m able to socialize effectively
You are a cat 🐱
U have prostate cancer
Invisibility!
but only for things you are wearing
Your clothes don’t get invisibility, so you have to get naked and eventually die of hypothermia.
would still work in florida
But you start to stink really bad
But you constantly fart loudly while you use it.
Photographic memory!
But you get schitzophrenia
But your keys keep disappearing, even though you know you’ve put them there.
The only thing you can remember is what the inside of your own lower intestine like like.
But you are blind
fuji discontinued the film your memory uses