I do similar things when a task has two physically separate locations like taking out the trash.

While walking out with the trash I will repeat constantly “put in new bag” all the way to the garbage and all the way back, otherwise the task doesn’t get completed.

What I think about is that you may have nothing to hide but that doesn’t mean your data can’t be manipulated in the future by bad actors.

I get it. I’ve had those thoughts that you are having. It’s frustrating as hell to see everyone around you succeed while it feels like you are spinning your wheels.

For me I came to the conclusion that I’m a late bloomer. It has taken me many many years to just start to do something I am proud of and I’m far from considering myself as a success. But the thing that I can’t do is take time looking around at everyone else’s success, it doesn’t help. Actually it pulls energy from what I need and want to do.

One thing I have learned along the way is make connections. If you want the network of people that others have you will need to go out and get it. The fact that you love to travel makes this easier for you. Like I said in my original post, meet people. Make it your goal to meet 4 new people in each country. Most relationships will go nowhere, some will become your friends, and a few may be able to give you a path to this success you are looking for. You said you didn’t have a goal - here is one. It’s not inventing plastic or traveling the solar system but it’s just as important. As a matter of fact the bigger your network of people is the bigger the chances are that you will succeed.

In fact you got one person (me) in your network now. I don’t know what I can do to help you but I rooting for you.

There is no telling your future but from this one post I think you may find yourself more successful than you think. The fact you have realized that you are unhappy where you are is a big motivator to change that. Look at what you are planning on doing, studying abroad is a big step. It may not feel like it to you but it is.

I agree with all the other posts that comparing yourself to others is fruitless because you are not them. But if you really want to do something spectacular then go for it. What that is ? Who knows? And you don’t need to know right now. Just go out and learn about as many different things that you can. You never know where good ideas come from. Also meet as many different people as you can one big factor in doing great things is knowing great people. It will also make your experiences much more broad and interesting.

Say ‘yes’ to doing crazy (though non-life threatening) stuff

Take a class in some subject that you find really weird and/or uncomfortable

Ask for help when you need it.

Take a weird job

quit the weird job

Find a passion

find others that have that passion

get bored with that passion

Ask out someone that you think is wayyyy outside your league

I could keep going but its all great experiences and you will start to notice that you are caring less and less about the success of others because you are living your life.

Sorry for the rambling, but honestly this random internet stranger is actually quite envious of you and the life you have in front of you.

Thanks for that. I had a feeling it may have been more conspiracy focused than serious (but that was due to the source I’m getting the information from). I really appreciate your write up you rock!

My old person trait is if you have something to ask me that is going to require a detailed answer call me or email me, don’t text me. I’m not going to spend time typing out a long involved answer on that freakin’ tiny ass keyboard.