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A casual community for people with ADHD
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Sigh… more often that I could admit
At least you remember to ask people for their name I had it happen that I didn’t ask for someones name until I knew them for more than half a year
I was afraid to use my girlfriend’s dad’s name that I 100% knew - because what if I don’t actually know
Never remembering names (I can barely remember faces) has always been a thing and I think I’ve just gotten good at rarely using them.
That being said, my GF at the time is now my wife, and I actually say her dad’s name now. Turns out I was right all along!
…I think
Alternatively:
“What’s your name again?”
“T*********”
"Sorry, what?*
“Ti********”
😐
“Nice to meet you Timberly”
Haha! I had someone tell me their name a few weeks ago. Kinda sounded like coffee so his name is now coffee. Can’t for the life of me remember his actual name and I’ve asked numerous times. I usually just hope that I don’t get in a situation where I need to know their name. Fun times. At least we can laugh about it.
“(Okay. Okay, okay, okay, here goes.) Hey, I’m so sorry, I’m so very bad with names, what’s yours again? (Gawd that was awful, but it’s over, we did it, I’m so proud of us, we overcame our fear and… FUCK what did they say?!)”
…“Sorry, I meant what’s your second name? Of course I knew your first name Gary! You’re so silly Gary”
“Oh don’t sweat it, I’m useless with names too!” (… … oh fuck! I should’ve asked their name! That was the perfect, consequence-free moment)
And then a year goes by and you still can’t remember, so you give up and just say “hey there”
of course, but I still am frustrated that this always happens
why does this always happen?? :(
You errr, you know which community we’re in right? :P
There is a lumosity game about remembering names.
I played that game ONCE for about 15 minutes and since then I’ve been able to remember names 5x better than before.
There’s no fundamental shift in memory capacity, the game just trains you to pay attention when someone says their name. After a few repetitions, it sticks.
Highly worth it. Though, now I remember names so good it freaks people out.
That’s why I always introduce myself even if I do remember their name. It’s easier on everyone.
I just pretend to have dementia it makes everything easier
I find that repeating someones name after they introduce themselves greatly helps with remembering it.
Yep, ‘I’m Steve’, ‘Steve? hi Steve, nice to meet you’ is exactly what I do and it helps.
Constant issue for me. I realized how much of a relief it was the other day when someone asked my name again after being introduced 15 minutes earlier, I got a chance to ask them their again and I felt a little more human for a bit.
Something that helped me was realizing that names are hard for everyone.
Unlike faces, which a lot of people also struggle with, names are completely arbitrary. They don’t help you identify a person at all unless you already know them. Facial features at least help you recognize someone but “Tim” or “James” could be 20 people you have met this year alone.
Everyone is bad with them, so just admitting to it is actually either a huge relief or at least understandable to the other party, like your experience. I find it’s typically the former, and after they share their name again, they confirm they have mine right, or ask in kind because they also forgot. It’s a human moment.
I have a very specific way of remembering names. I don’t know if it will work for everybody but I find It works 95% of the time. When someone is being introduced to me I get the new person to tell me their name and then I get somebody else to introduce me then say their name back to them. Instead of just one memory pathway being built I have multiple ways at once.
Nope. I do that too, but “It’s great to meet you, (name).” is a script and as such is RAM-access only.
deleted by creator
If you flat out say I’m sorry I already forgot your name in the middle of talking to them it’s actually a good thing. For the most part. Then you both have a little chuckle, trade names again, both say how you never remember names. “Oh tell me about it, same here” etc
It creates a little more of a memory for both of you.
I think this is not just an ADHD trait.
The internets obsession with ADHD is annoying. No not everything is ADHD.
Not everything is ADHD, but ADHD does affect brain functions which are common to most humans.
It doesn’t give us a distinctive blue head or hot dogs for fingers, it manifests in subtle ways. Hence the post.
Seems like a bit of crap thing to come out with in a specifically ADHD group; why are you here?
Because not everything is ADHD?
Can alcoholics blame everything they do on alcohol? No.
Are you a unlikable person because you’re depressed? No.
Are you less than a human bean because you don’t drive? No.
Who you are is not defined because of those.
I’m just saying. Not everything you do is because of ADHD.
No one is saying it is.
There are no traits exclusive to ADHD. Even executive dysfunction isn’t completely unique to ADHD…
whatever you say Toad!
I once had an acquaintance/friend for 4 years who told me their name when we first met. I immediately forgot it of course but managed to avoid referring to them by name the whole time and I only found out what it was again when I told them I was moving overseas and they gave me contact details to reach them after I moved. So funny suddenly achieving that 4 year long goal of one day figuring out what they were called like that. Of course, I lost the contact details and forgot their name immediately after that but on the day I was able to thank them using their name for the first time in years and it felt very satisfying.
So this is dumb but I’ve been carrying around a little notebook to write random things down, and I’ve taken to recording names of new people I meet. Also people are way more forgiving of forgetting names and I’ve also accepted that people that aren’t are not worth being around anyway.