If people cannot understand your experience, it’s not because you are trans and they are cis

Well, it’s not just that. As you say, even trans folk can’t understand other trans folks experience. But that still speaks to my point. Acceptance shouldn’t be gatekept behind understanding

I’m trans. Cis people literally can never truly understand my experience or why the things that are important to me are important. Acceptance can’t be contingent on understanding they can never have.

Neopronouns are the same. You can work on your own understanding to reduce your discomfort but your discomfort should be your problem, not something you get to force on to others

Was it dismissing or just not understanding?

Some folk require understanding before they offer acceptance. Those folk will frame it as “just not understanding”. I frame that as lack of acceptance. Acceptance isn’t contingent on understanding. You or I not understanding an aspect of someone elses identity has nothing to do with the validity of their identity.

If you wish to ask someone questions about their pronouns and identity, you’re welcome to do so, but remember they don’t owe you an answer, and whether they offer you an answer or not, and whether you understand their perspective or not, either way, gatekeeping and invalidating their identity is not on.

they are so uncomfortable to use that it just makes me not want to address someone who uses them

That was the other option I offered folk. If someone has stated their pronouns, either use them, or if you can’t bring yourself to use them, don’t engage with the person.

If the person is trolling, report them. But even if they’re trolling, the above statement still stands. Respect their pronouns or don’t engage with them as you report them.

That’s an instance ban. Instance bans automatically issue community bans for local communities the user has been active in.

No one was banned for not rembering drags pronouns or for accidentally getting them wrong.

People were banned for dismissing the validity of neopronouns or for deliberately and repeatedly getting pronouns wrong.

Blahaj.zone has disabled downvotes, so at least that part can’t be weaponised against folk on our instance.

As for the rest of it, yeah, lemmy is better than reddit, but it did get a lot of users from reddit, so its still closer to reddit culture than I’d like. But, it’s also got a lot of better aspects than reddit ever did, and hopefully that trend will continue

As the other commenter mentioned, there’s no monetary value for JKR for there to be HP-Themed communities.

Yes there is, because it helps keep her relevant

Nope, sorry, it’s still broken. I saw the community and assumed it was working, but I can’t subscribe to it either. I’ll see what we can find

You should be able to now. It’s just that no one on this instance had subscribed to it yet, so the instance didn’t know the community existed. All sorted now though!

33 minute old account, and this is your first post?

So to clarify, at the time you made your post here, the drama was that I briefly thought a faked screenshot was real?

Ok, now I recognise the scenario you are talking about, I’ll respond with specifics.

These are the messages I sent you, when you reached out to me asking to set up a community on blahaj.zone

Despite these messages, after you created the community, the second post you made to the it was a meme targeting hexbear.

tl;dr, The conditions were clear. You agreed to them. You then ignored them. The only drama here is of your making

You were acting in bad faith when you reached out, and you’re acting in bad faith now

So you “ironically” posted a transphobic meme, in response to nothing in particular, and the drama is that it was moderated?

I’ll stand by my original comment. If you take issue with that, then blahaj.zone was never the space for you. I would do it again

As near as I can tell, Ada defended Obvious_Troll because they were from Hexbear, and Ada seems to think every Hexbear user is trans

There are no hexbear based accounts on blahaj.zone and have not been for a long time.

I once posted a meme to a Blahaj community I moderated in which someone named [email protected]

Hexbear was defederated from Blahaj Zone long before you were active here, so your recollection is flawed.

If you’re talking about the person I think, then that account is from aussie.zone, where they still have an active account, which would be unlikely if it was simply a troll account.

If it is the person I think, then they were accused of being a troll because they used pronouns that many people found challenging.

I’m not going to gatekeep pronouns. If someone trolls, I’ll respect their pronouns even as I ban then

If you’ve got an issue with that, blahaj.zone was never the right space for you. If that’s “fedidrama” for you, then blahaj.zone was never the right space for you.

Now that is an interesting idea. A timeline that ranks only by local votes

See, this is exactly the sort of thing I was talking about! :P

I’m not sure about that place… I’ve heard things can get quite animated in that community…

I resent people calling me, because I have no choice but to be rude or to be forced in to a conversation that takes all of my attention, but on their schedule

A text is the opposite of that. Treating it as if it were a conversation would make it just as annoying as a phone call

Formal diagnosis has made little difference to my life. Nothing bad has come from it, but nothing much has changed either.

I still don’t have meaningful access to medication. Even when I do have medication, all it helps with is maintaining focus. It doesn’t help me initiate things or stay organised, which have been my main barriers.

Unrelated, but I just noticed your user name. Love coatis! In many ways, they’re ADHD in animal form :)

We were lucky enough to find a school that didn’t do homework. It made a huge difference

Don’t worry, it all comes out in the wash

I’m happy to Ada approve whatever you need :p

You will be able to downvote, but if the community in question is hosted on an instance that has disabled downvotes, your downvote won’t federate to anyone else. The only people who see it will be people on the same instance as you.

For users of an instance that has disabled downvotes, their timelines silently drop all downvotes, so those users see the fediverse without the impact of any downvotes, irrelevant of where they came from or what other people see.

Sports become my special interest, I get obsessed and really into them. Then suddenly they’re not and I just can’t make myself do the thing I’ve loved doing for the previous two years

I can’t “imagine” conversations in that way, so it’s not something I’ve experienced

You won’t see the posts to the small communities on the new instance unless one of your users manually finds them and subscribes to them.

What I don’t get is that they’d probably need to create their own platform. Their main issue is about mod tools, so they’d need to create their own mod tools.

Not quite. When you are on a non federated community, with accounts that require approval, the ability to ban trouble makers solves most things, and doesn’t leave them with an easy way back in.

Moderation requirements on lemmy are very different though, because federation introduces communities and users from instances that have different rules.

As long as I’ve got no distractions around me at all (like a cinema) or as long as I have access to the distractions so I can multi-task (like on a PC at home). But if I’m at home, trying to watch a movie, without doing anything else, it’s next to impossible. If it’s a rewatch, it’s completely impossible

every time a new instance spins up

To be fair, Hexbear has been around a lot longer than lemmy.ca

Oh, I try, but I use “ok google” and my girlfriend’s phone, my mum’s phone, my kiddo’s phone and my own all then set timers. And then they won’t stop going off from my voice command, even though they started from my voice command.

It’s crazy when I’m in the kitchen :P

FYI, the person that you’re talking about, is not the reason I made this post, nor were they talking about trans women or girldick.

This whole line of discussion is based on a misunderstanding of the original context I think

Just a heads up, once a mod marks a report as resolved, the admins won’t see it, so if someone needs to be banned from the whole instance, make sure you drop me a DM

Thanks for the heads up. Looks like we’ll be ok for this one from what I can tell

Hah. So I do. Either way, my tldr edit should make things pretty clear.

It hasn’t been happening on Blahaj as such. The transphobes come from other instances, but have been posting their BS here

It means that your instance hasn’t federated my edit :P

Firstly, I updated the post to clarify. You might want to re-read it

Secondly, unless you start posting transphobia, this post isn’t about you. I won’t be banning you simply for disagreeing with me