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this is coming from a staunch fucking ally that has been there for more than a couple of friends that have transitioned.
but you gotta realize the outside world is not beholden to your preferences or desires. and if someone else runs counter to that, it’s literally as simple as not dating the guy.
he stated his preference. he likes breasts. he doesn’t like dicks. he would likely say that he likes breasts because as is obvious, the dude likes em. so it someone had a problem with that type of complimenting, it’d probably not work out.
sooooooooooooooooooooo there’s literally no problem here except you’re feeling attacked. with the amount of things y’all have to put up with in society, i understand y’all’s bitterness and anger and exasperation and frustration with any interactions. but this seems a silly hill to die on. it’s a dude’s preference.
Are you thick? I’m saying that thinking that’s an acceptable thing to say about someone’s body in that context, regardless of whether you’re daring them or not, is actually fucked in the head.
Also, that’s an absolute classic opening to your argument: “I’m an ally, but … Wait! Wait! I have trans friends so that automatically makes me correct about any transgender issues whatsoever!” Never heard that before. /s
The whole point of the comment is that he knows it’s not an acceptable thing to say, that’s why he’s not doing it.
“My friend’s daughter’s step sister is dating a black person”
*proceeds to say the most racist shit you will ever hear
You’re not an ally. If you have to start of a sentence by saying you’re an ally and have friends in a marginalized group, you’re already starting off wrong. You’re talking down to a trans person for stating what they don’t like about something. Maybe if you wanted to explain how it is actually just preference, but your comment is entirely about “trans people having victim complexes”.
Not dating the guy is fine. But being okay with dating someone pre-transition specifically for the things they do not like is gross. Trans men are not women. Do you have any idea how many of us enter relationships with people who say they support us, then do anything they can to prevent us from being who we want to be? Specifically common with trans men. If he said, “no I’m straight I don’t date men” that’d just be preference. But he’s saying “yeah I’d date a trans dude if they essentially weren’t trans”. That’s shitty.
if i say “look i’d date my buddy steve but he doesn’t have tits and he does have a dick, and it just so happens that i like tits and i don’t like dick.”
that’s me saying “yes steve’s a standup guy and sure i could theoretically date him but there are glaring differences in my preferences and his equipment.”
that’s not homophobic. that’s not transphobic. it’s a manner of speaking in a comedic tone in a community that is based in comedy.
and my guy/gal, you don’t know me or what i’ve done throughout my life, so starting in with a declarative “you’re not an ally!” really? jump to conclusions much? i can still be a staunch ally for someone’s rights and equal treatment and still say “preferences are preferences”. it may not be an ally on your perfect terms, and i’m okay with that.
i’m going to state anything to anyone the way i would another person, regardless of sexual preference, gender, race, religion, whatever. and if that person doesn’t like something, that’s their prerogative.
I’m saying actual allies don’t have to remind people that they’re allies.
“I’m a great ally, but you transes are just overreacting to this transphobic asshole!” fuck off