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A casual community for people with ADHD
Values:
Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.
Rules:
- No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
- No porn, gore, spam, or advertisements allowed.
- Do not request for donations.
- Do not link to other social media or paywalled content.
- Do not gatekeep or diagnose.
- Mark NSFW content accordingly.
- No racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, or ageism.
- Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
- Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
- Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).
Encouraged:
- Funny memes.
- Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
- Questions on confusing situations.
- Seeking and sharing support.
- Engagement in our values.
Relevant Lemmy communities:
lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.
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- 1K users / 6 months
- 1 subscriber
- 672 Posts
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- Modlog
Is r/twoxchromosome the antithesis of this sub. I feel like all the spouses behavior they complain about is the standard post here
I couldn’t tell you. The adhdwomen community is where my people are.
jeez can we stop with this gender shit altogether? There’s nothing as exhausting as the gender wars. One needs solid resistance to bullshit which I do not posses. Next time if you wanted to say women this, men this just say humans do that shit
That is just a man hating sub in general.
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It’s not gonna cure you or anything but something I did was only kept out two of every plate, bowl and utensil. I put the rest away in a place that would take more time to take out than to clean. As I got more into the habit of cleaning the dishes by necessity I would add one more set. Now I have the full set and though I still struggle I am much better at getting my dishes cleaned.
Thanks, that’s similar to another suggestion someone shared and I think I may actually try it. It sounds like just the right kind of brain hack for me considering that throwing away all my old, mismatched socks and replacing them with a dozen identical pairs improved my laundry experience by about 300%.
This, in my mind, is a scientific endeavor; you can monitor your cereal/milk intake in milliliters per minute, and I think that’s important to know.
That point is when you buy a dishwasher, then you can just pull a clean dish out of the dishwater 😅
I honestly feel like having a dishwasher is a trap for ADHD people. It makes sense if you’re having a party or some dish-involving-event but otherwise you’re taking a small task (wash one dish) and turning it into a large task that requires constant overhead in monitoring:
Make sure you start the dishwasher when it’s full
Make sure you realize when the dishwasher is full.
Have a multi-minute bulk task of removing and putting away every plate in your house.
Did you put the soap in the dishwasher?
If, for some reason, you used every spoon in existence but otherwise the dishwasher isn’t very full - start the dishwasher.
Also, all this is happening behind an opaque door (I’ve never seen a glass fronted dishwasher, at least) so…
I just start it when I try to put a dish in and it ends up in a janky position, or when I have to get a dirty dish out and clean it. I empty it one dish at a time or when I run out of bench space due to the dirty dishes on the bench 😅
If I don’t have a dishwasher I just end up buying take away once all the dishes are dirty…
I find the opposite as an ADHD sufferer. When I use a dish, it goes in the dishwasher. If it’s full, I run it. If it’s clean, I empty it before I put the dirty dish in which takes all of 2 minutes. It basically forces the routine, and I end up running it almost every night and emptying it while I make my morning coffee.
Whereas with hand washing I end up building a pile in the sink and procrastinate until it gets big enough to take half an hour to get through.
Nah. Dishwashers use about three gallons for a single wash. Im saving water when i run it with more than four dishes in it. That happens every other night.
I’m surprised you still have a clean spoon too, unless that’s a fork ‘-’
It is a spoon, and you’re not wrong to be surprised… but I had to wash it first.
I know that struggle
drinks cereal from a cup
Naturally.
Ok, so, what has been working for me is keep the dishwasher open and racks out. Then, as I use a dish, rinse it and put it in the dishwasher. When it gets full, turn it on. The only thing I haven’t solved is putting the dishes up when it’s done.
Yeah, loading and running is not my problem either.
Same with folding laundry.
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…Do you understand the nature of this disorder? It’s not like people just don’t WANT to do things. We want to, but due to a developmental difference, lack the neurotransmitters/receptors to be able to consistently turn “want” into “do”.
Strike 1
Why is there dopamine availability shaming going on in an ADHD community?
You’d think so… but somehow no.
My strategy (especially since I got married) is to just have a single plate and a single bowl. These get washed/rinsed whenever I want to put food in them (I do discard visible waste after a meal). It’s helped me both in terms of not having a pile of dishes that scares me and in terms of not getting stuck in analysis paralysis if all the dishes are dirty and I’m hungry. I actually have a visually distinct plate I use and try my best to never use a different plate to eat. I’d recommend giving it a try.
I’ve been trying to get my SO to agree to getting rid of all the plates and cups except for what we use hasn’t worked yet I should just go solo and take your recommendation it’s a good recommendation
My wife and I moved recently. We don’t have a dishwasher at the moment so we chose to have 4 sets of dishes unpacked total so we can make sure to keep up on dishes. 2 meals each uses all the dishes, so we’re forced to clean them daily.
I’m in the same situation - we have a lot of dishes in our house and my partner can manage with multiple dishes… so I have my chosen dishes and then we have a pool of dishes for them to use - they’ve actually struggled with this same issue (they’re not diagnosed but might be ADHD) so while they use a rotation of plates and bowls they have adopted “the chosen coffee mug” to keep from getting overwhelmed by piles of mugs on random surfaces in their office.
This works, but due to ADHD at some point I forget that that bowl is, say, on top of a wardrobe near the place where I sit with a laptop, and instead of remembering where it is take another one. And so on.
here’s a life hack: most dishes can just be rinsed off directly after using them, especially if the only thing it’s been in contact with is something watery and water soluble.
There is absolutely no need to wash a bowl you’ve had cereal in, just rinse it with hot water for a few seconds and you’re done.
But if I were capable I’d immediately rinsing my dishes I wouldn’t have a problem washing them.
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I don’t think it’s the soap and scrubbing that’s keeping these dishes from being washed immediately, it’s the stopping what you’re doing, stand up and bring the soak to the sink immediately that’s stopping people. That said I WISH my husband would just Rinse things immediately. He is using the pan literally two feet away from the sink! Just turn and rinse it out while it’s still hot!
I once bought new pants instead of having to do laundry
Many times, same with socks. I mean, if you keep them wet for too long, or, eh, wear dirty ones, the fabric wears out much faster.
Completely justifiable if you ask me.
What do you mean? It looks pretty great having a bowl with a handle. Might even be an upgrade to usual
I thought the same thing. I never knew I wanted my bowls to have handles until just now!
Plus Oxo… that’s fancy. They’re eating like royalty!
Or, and hear me out on this one…
No?
Uh… that’s been me. With Special K, Red Berries no less. I’m not too proud to admit it.
Yup. I filled it back up with a bunch more freeze dried strawberries and bananas when this was empty and had another “bowl”. Wouldn’t want to waste a clean dish.