Don’t punish yourself for not succeding in something, punish yourself for not putting the effort

I have a todo app and have set up recurring reminders for daily/weekly/monthly tasks.

Daily for like dishes/trash/meals
Weekly for laundry/groceries/etc
Monthly for budgeting/deeper cleaning

I don’t stress if I miss one (or many,lol) but at least having them in the app means I have the list handy already when I realize I should check it, and not be wondering “what was that once a month thing I meant to do…?”

Audiobooks have been an amazing hack for me to stay focused on every day household tasks. Listening to an interesting book engages my upper level thoughts (monkey mind) and makes things like folding laundry or dishes much more engaging. I still have a tendency to just fuck off when it’s half done but I can keep in motion and stay in the groove and circle around again after doing other necessities.

Simply the act of writing something down, with an actual pen on actual paper, really does help with memory. I know it’s a really common thing to suggest, especially in school and classes but I completely skipped it then and only started doing this in the past decade so it’s new to me. I’ve noticed such a dramatic difference in my recall of things that I wrote down vs things that were said to me, even if I never look at the notepad again.

Also, I absolutely hate this, but having less free time. I have less free time now than I ever have before and I’ve been astonished at how much I’ve been getting done. Every day I have pressure to do as much as I possibly can within a small window of time and it’s been great for my ADHD, but I resent it and grumble about it and wish it didn’t work so well.

Double speed audio.

I have real difficulty with listening to people speaking slowly. By the time they finish the sentence I have lost the start, so unless I actively hold their sentence until it is done I often lose meaning or misunderstand.

Listening at double speed allows me to keep up without losing what was said. I listen to audiobooks and podcasts while doing most chores and it has been a game changer.

Keeping a scrub daddy and shower cleaner in the shower. The only time I remember it’s dirty is while I’m in there. Similarly, I keep a toothbrush in the shower and one on the sink. Same with floss. As well as a garbage can reachable from the shower so empty bottles don’t sit in there for WEEKS.

Oh! I have see through glass jars in the bathroom for things like reusable face cloths, q tips etc. That’s not the hack (but clear makes it easy to see), the hack is that the big one is full of cleaning rags so I don’t have to go find something to clean with.

Once i was in an executive position i hired people who are not afraid to oppose me, and who have abilities (like planning of sorts)that i lack.

Not going through life alone. I dont necessarily mean you need a significant other. But someone who cares for you and is willing to help hold you accountable.

And TAKE NOTES!

I had a really great boss a while back. I was a team lead and he noticed that I’d have a hard time remembering things. Like, he’d give me 5 tasks to do, and I’d only remember 2 or 3 of them. I’d just space out, or my priorities would be fucked up. So he’d come back hours later “hey, did you do this thing yet?” “Oh, I forgot about that”.

Eventually, he decided to “force” me to carry a little notebook and had me write the tasks down. He’d start talking to me about the things we needed to do and suddenly go “oh, you should write this down”.

Now 10 years later, its a strong habit for me. Anytime I talk to someone at work, I bust out the notebook and just start taking notes. Then later in my office I’ll consolidate the notes.

It’s helped me out a ton. That boss giving me reminders and helping me to build the habit is one of the greatest skills he taught me. Thanks to him, my second marriage is much better because I can actually listen to my partner (yes, I take notes when my wife and I are talking about bills and plans and chores).

Between writing things down and having someone who would help give me reminders and feedback on my successes and failures, ive definitely grown so much more than I ever could alone.

If you have pets and you feed them on a regular schedule, plan something you need to do for yourself at that time as well. They won’t let you forget to feed them, they’re going to be really annoying about it, and then you’re already up so you might we well do the thing.

• Alarms and timers for everything.

• Custom sounds for phone to be 10dB higher than normal, to ensure I hear them and don’t just block it out as noise.

• Putting things that need taking care of later somewhere visible, like my laundry directly in front of my bedroom door so I have to do something with it just to open the door.

• Having autism, too, so the ADHD problems just naturally balance out.

Loud, energizing music will calm you by feeding a steady stream of dopamine.

Sadly this is also why I can fall asleep at a party after a coffee.

Everything goes in the calendar. Especially regular but infrequent things like birthdays. I set reminders a few days to a week before so I have time to adjust plans / buy presents or whatever.

If I’m having trouble motivating myself to do something, I commit to doing a bare minimum amount. For example going to the gym if I’m feeling unmotivated I might commit to just doing one exercise. Dishes maybe I’ll just wash one plate / pan. Once I’ve used that to get over the initial hurdle I’ll usually be able to ride the wave and complete everything.

So empty….

Myself, my wife and all 3 kids have adhd. Shared Google calendars are mandatory.

Does methylphenidate count as a life hack?

If I think of something I need, I usually just order it on Amazon prime right then, that way I don’t forget latter and accidentally run out of garbage bags or something.

My kids do “the board”, write a checklist for the morning on a whiteboard.

I use the heck out of the phone calendar, and set alarms in both home system and work computer to make me stop and focus.

A “we have food for” list on the refrigerator.

To some extent, just aligning my schedule to fit my better hours, which are in the afternoon. I don’t go to work so early, because I’m kind of useless before lunch anyway.

Lists. My notes app puts in work. I make lists for everything. I set alarms for everything. I write things down while I’m thinking about them because I will forget. I ask for things in writing because I will misremember what was said. I have a white board stuck to my fridge so that I can write down when we’re out of something or running low. Oh. And basketball nets over the hamper.