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A casual community for people with ADHD
Values:
Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.
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- Mark NSFW content accordingly.
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- Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
- Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
- Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).
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- Funny memes.
- Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
- Questions on confusing situations.
- Seeking and sharing support.
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Relevant Lemmy communities:
lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.
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Being accountable to someone. Also my least favorite ADHD lifehack.
most effective answer, and therefore the one i most avoid
I feel personally attacked.
For me, those are deadlines. Nothing better.
If you feel like you’re struggling to accomplish a task, take a moment to think about your stimulation level. Are you understimulated or overstimulated? Sometimes just acknowledging it is enough, everyone has their own techniques.
For example, if I’m trying to work and I’m understimulated, I might throw on some metal music or something like that. If I’m overstimulated, probably means I should sit in a dark room for 5 or 10 minutes until I feel better before trying to do anything.
I have a job working with teams to improve processes. I think a lot about waste and efficiencies, what end users will actually do or adopt, making things easier / faster, etc. Now I think about these things all the time in daily life, apply them to my ADHD, and iterate endlessly:
Also, radical acceptance of the things that are limiters.
Hot damn do I love gloves. I bought a 5000-count case five years ago and I’m just about out of them. Turns out making it easier to touch icky things like the sink strainer was well worth the $50.
I mainly struggle with the executive dysfunction part. I found that preparing anything at all helps, even just opening the document I need to write on another screen will mean that whenever my attention next detaches from whatever else I’m doing, I will automatically latch onto what I’m supposed to do as the next thing.
This is the only way I managed to make progress on my bachelor’s thesis.
Ok but this is so smart! I’m gonna try this.
The part of my brain that needs to be interested in something to do it is actually very stupid and easily tricked. Sometimes when I’m stuck all I have to do is literally pretend I find the work engaging.
Related, there’s some evidence that forcing a smile can improve one’s mood.
If you really like doing something such as watching a new episode of your series on YouTube, but hate something else like exercising, combine the two. Only watch that series, while exercising. Then you’ll start looking forward to the exercise because you get to watch your series.
That’s actually genius. Imma try that.
This strategy is known as “temptation bundling.” It’s a thing. Amusingly, I learned about this because I was doing it (mowing the lawn + my favorite podcast.)
https://characterlab.org/tips-of-the-week/temptation-bundling/
Reading, thank you. Always down for a podcast rec too!
I learned about it on No Stupid Questions, a podcast by Stephen Dubner, the guy behind Freakonomics, and Angela Duckworth, who wrote “Grit.” I linked to Character Lab, which is/was a nonprofit by Duckworth and others at UPenn.
Katy Milkman, who coined the term temptation bundling, is a behavioral economist at Penn and often collaborates with Angela Duckworth. I also recommend Milkman’s recent book: “How to Change.”
Thank you!
This is how I do laundry. My washer and dryer both conveniently take ~55 minutes to run a cycle, which also happens to be almost the exact runtime of most hour-long shows. Or like three episodes of a 24 minute show. So I combine the two; I watch TV while doing laundry.
Episode gets done? Check the dryer to see if it’s done. That way the clothes don’t just sit there for hours and wrinkle. Get all the loads done and out of the dryer, and laid flat on my couch and ottoman. Then I’ll take an episode or two to just throw hangers on everything. Get it all nicely sorted how it’s going to go in the closet. Then focus on socks and underwear, which have accumulated in a pile. Once everything is completely done and sorted, putting it away takes no time at all. And it doesn’t feel as much like a chore, because I’m just watching TV while doing it. And the important part is that I use the episodes as a timer, not as a distraction.
This is how I do laundry. My washer and dryer both conveniently take ~55 minutes to run a cycle, which also happens to be almost the exact runtime of most hour-long shows. Or like three episodes of a 24 minute show. So I combine the two; I watch TV while doing laundry.
Episode gets done? Check the dryer to see if it’s done. That way the clothes don’t just sit there for hours and wrinkle. Get all the loads done and out of the dryer, and laid flat on my couch and ottoman. Then I’ll take an episode or two to just throw hangers on everything. Get it all nicely sorted how it’s going to go in the closet. Then focus on socks and underwear, which have accumulated in a pile. Once everything is completely done and sorted, putting it away takes no time at all. And it doesn’t feel as much like a chore, because I’m just watching TV while doing it.
For me, it’s also putting something into my calendar (specific time) or to-do list (no specific deadline – this is mostly for shopping and a second one for ideas). After that, if I think of something I try to do it right then if I can complete it or make measurable progress against it to avoid procrastination. Finally, physically putting things in places I can’t ignore so I don’t forget them (or a post-it in place, but that’s more risky).
I will set things I need to bring with me right in front of the door so I cannot leave without picking them up
Yep. It only becomes a post-it if it’s dangerous or needs to stay in the freezer until leaving or something
So true. There’s a post-it on my car key right now because I need to remember something in the fridge when I leave for work
Keeping a scrub daddy and shower cleaner in the shower. The only time I remember it’s dirty is while I’m in there. Similarly, I keep a toothbrush in the shower and one on the sink. Same with floss. As well as a garbage can reachable from the shower so empty bottles don’t sit in there for WEEKS.
Oh! I have see through glass jars in the bathroom for things like reusable face cloths, q tips etc. That’s not the hack (but clear makes it easy to see), the hack is that the big one is full of cleaning rags so I don’t have to go find something to clean with.
I do what I call “productive procrastination”.
I allow myself to procrastinate by doing something else instead that’s also necessary to do.
Of course, “necessary” is a slippery term.
But what definitely doesn’t fall under it is doom-scrolling, day-drinking and wikipedia rabbit holes.
This actually lets me be pretty productive throughout the day, as long as I have tasks I can push back endlessly.
Like, I haven’t brought my finances and investments in proper order in over 10 years.
Which probably cost me a 5-digit amount in lost profit over that time frame.
But I’m fortunate enough to not feel it and accept things like this as my ADHD tax.
It would take a couple hours, but would involve decisions and it never becomes urgent.
yes this is the way!
Alarms and timers for everything.
Custom sounds for phone to be 10dB higher than normal, to ensure I hear them and don’t just block it out as noise.
Putting things that need taking care of later somewhere visible, like my laundry directly in front of my bedroom door so I have to do something with it just to open the door.
Having autism, too, so the ADHD problems just naturally balance out.
I was like “somebody likes lists more than me!” and in the last point, “ah, yes, just like me :)”
That can work but also can lead to tons of clutter.
Yup! And you can get where you’ll step right over the garbage that needs taking out as you go outside and not even notice.
Where exactly does this ‘balance out’ part supposed to work? Cause that sure would be nice
For example My autism wants me yo keep doing the same things and stick to a routine, my adhd wants me to keep trying new things. Not everyone’s ND is the same ofc.
not too many alarms, though, otherwise they become noise
And that is why the Christmas wrapping tote is still sitting in the hallway.
Timers is probably the sole reason I have a smart watch.
Different alarm sounds for different activities. E.g. shower alarm sounds like a shower running.
Loud, energizing music will calm you by feeding a steady stream of dopamine.
Sadly this is also why I can fall asleep at a party after a coffee.
Everything goes in the calendar. Especially regular but infrequent things like birthdays. I set reminders a few days to a week before so I have time to adjust plans / buy presents or whatever.
If I’m having trouble motivating myself to do something, I commit to doing a bare minimum amount. For example going to the gym if I’m feeling unmotivated I might commit to just doing one exercise. Dishes maybe I’ll just wash one plate / pan. Once I’ve used that to get over the initial hurdle I’ll usually be able to ride the wave and complete everything.
And for friends’ kids’ birthdays I put the year they were born because I definitely won’t remember how old they are
Don’t punish yourself for not succeding in something, punish yourself for not putting the effort
What if I’m not successful in putting in the effort?
Doesn’t matter, try as hard as you can even if you are procrastinating, try to stop and do something, it’s hard for normal people and even harder for us
If you’re trying to do thing A but your brain can’t stop thinking about thing B, take out a notebook and write down all your current thoughts on thing B. Trust yourself that when you get back to it, you will be right where you left off. Then do thing A.
For example, trying to work on a paper but you can’t stop thinking about the season finale of your favorite show you just watched.
Doesn’t always work but helps a lot.
Hahaha thing A who?
Hahaha, thanks that’s so easy!
Haha, you’re right. I guess I should have written “then try to do thing A”.
I live and die by my pocket notebook and phone calendar.
nope… not until I’m almost but not quite done with thing B. THEN I’ll leave B unfinished and go back to thing… wait, what about thing C?!
So empty….